Mental Health

Poor mental health in the African home is an invisible silent killer that robs people of their sense of peace, happiness and in extreme cases, even will to live yet is hardly ever talked about. Recently a viral video of a Kenyan mother grieving over her son that had committed suicide sparked the conversation around suicide and mental health. The video came as a shock to many, but the reality is, that mental health challenges have been persistent within our society, yet it’s only now that mental health is actually being talked about.

In Africa and specifically my country Tanzania, as sad as it is, It’s not uncommon to spend years living with people in the very same house, yet these people probably know absolutely nothing nor even fathom the mental and emotional anguish and turmoil that one may be experiencing.

I ask myself, is it that people just do not care? I highly doubt that. However, looking back at the very foundations that most African families are built on, the silent motto seems to be “ignore the big elephant in the room until it magically disappears.” For some reason, pushing things under the rug and not addressing real problems that impact our mental health has been the norm in our families.

But then, let’s dig deeper, WHY is this the norm? Is it due to years and years of power structures and hierarchies within the African family unit that make it almost taboo to ever question authority? We are conditioned to simply adapt the “when I say jump, you ask how high” mentality. Could it be the negative connotations associated with vulnerability and it being mistaken for weakness? Or could it be the fear of judgment and exclusion that often comes when we express vulnerability? Or do we proudly repress our hurts by wearing our badges of resilience like martyrs who find pride in how much pain we can endure alone? I ask myself all these questions and keep conjuring more questions rather than answers.

Currently, there are several mushrooming religions and places of worship budding each day and these places are flooded with people praying and hoping for miracles while giving away their hard earned money, just to get a sense of “hope”. When will we start seeing this as the cry for help that it is?

These places have turned into the refuge that people flock to, to help them cope with their emotional baggage and mental health struggles. Others out of utter desperation and confusion even seek out other forms of assistance such as ‘waganga’ and spiritual healers to try and find solutions for their mental frustration and misery.

Despite the many speculations as to why openly discussing issues pertaining to our mental health is such a taboo in the African homestead, one thing is clear, the results are tragic. From chronic alcoholism, manifestations of violence, suicide, drug and substance abuse to severe self-esteem and confidence depletion, the failure to openly express our feelings have open conversations about our mental health and challenges is destroying us.

Failure to address mental health issues at the family level also transcends to a much larger problem. Mental health has historically been neglected on Africa’s health and development policy agenda with most countries dedicating less than 1% of their budget to mental health. The absence of treatment for mental health is yet again the norm rather than the exception. Yet it is an undeniable truth that mental health and physical health are inseparable. A healthy mental and emotional state is essential for a healthy physical state.

If one cannot openly seek help or feel free to express their hurts, trials and tribulations with the people who are supposed to be the closest to them where are they supposed to turn to? Moreover, even when someone decides to take the bold step and confide in those closest to them, are these people equipped to handle this information with the right amount of sensitivity and confidentiality that is required? If healthier family dynamics and mental health within our homes are to be achieved, these are the life hacks that we all have to start learning to create healthier living environments within our families and even our partners if our relationships are to survive.

It is about time that the question of mental health becomes something that is discussed and dealt with in our family. Let us slowly start normalizing “checking in” with the people close to us and have open dialogues about issues that bother us. Repressed pain, anger and unresolved trauma manifest themselves in crude ways. Let us be the generation that replaces mental health stigma, with mental health support.

Credits:

Article by: Hilda Tizeba