Saved: Jane’s Diary

On this edition, we SAVED pieces from the very talented Jane Lyimo. We couldn’t get enough of what she had to share. Enjoy the read!

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Something Beautiful

I look around a lot. I tend to notice beautiful things, beautiful feelings, beautiful vibes and energies. I feel shit that I didn’t know I needed to feel and I get so connected to them, it’s amazing. It’s an amazing feeling. What’s a beautiful thing in your perspective? To me?! Haha. Trees are beautiful, the stars, the fucking moon, planets, thick thighs, full beard, marijuana, art, love, music, natural hair, kids, make up, sex, knowledge. This list is endless.

I’ve met pretty girls with big hair and just by looking at them I got so happy. Men with afull beard and I couldn’t stop staring at them. (Him). Haha. Sometimes I big chill and just enjoy the energy around, being tipsy, mellow music, watching people have fun it’s just amazing how it feels.

Have you ever tried floating under a sunny day in the ocean? Just having that alone time. Ears sinking in, that you can only hear music from a distance, and sounds of water bubbling in your ears while you are breathing in and out gazing at the sky. Seeing birds flying around and just wondering how lucky you are to be alive. It’s a beautiful thing acknowledging a time where you are experiencing something. Feeling something.

Oftentimes its peculiar to stare. Not only at someone, even at the sky. You feel connected to it in such a way that your energy vibrations get triggered and you start being in the presence of and finally part of the universe.The mind is tricky because it needs what it needs and as soon as you give the mind what it wants, that’s where the peculiar part comes. You just start feeling scared because the feeling is overwhelming. At the same time,you don’t want it to stop. Because it’s a beautiful feeling.

You get addicted to someone, by just the way their mouth moves when they speak, or how their face beautifully curves when they start laughing. Oh! That beautiful curve. How a man moans when he’s fucking you. How she holds you tight when she misses you. The cologne. When he puts on that serious face, but he is not. I love so many things. You know, I find them so beautiful and intriguing. I sometimes wish to exist inside them, if you know what I mean.

Words by Jane Lyimo

Anonymous

Not many people actually care about being known yet many people want to be known that they care! I know you are anonymous. The kind that will see the broken leg of a street dog and want to hold it just for it to feel loved and seen, but most importantly cared about.

You don’t really have to say a word, hold someone or something, for it to feel touched by you. By your presence, love, attention.

Wait, let me talk to you. Have you ever tried closing your eyes, and just feel? Just taking a pause while thinking of someone or something? Something that makes you feel something different that not many people or things can make you feel like? You get touched anonymously that you get a sensation from it. It’s that type of feeling when you’remissing someone’s touch, smell, voice, orhugs. That type of feeling when you never actually talked to that person, but you keep seeing them so often. You get so connected and addicted to seeing them, you enjoy the fact that you feel touched by them from a distance, and sometimes you feel it’s really cool for it to stay that way. You sit down reminiscing them, finding yourself smiling alone when you close your eyes, and joy being filled inside you. It’s amazing. You get touched anonymously.

You want to know what else is amazing?Music. Being touched through music. There are many occasions where music reminds you of a special someone, a memory like your childhood, a friend or old school days. You just sit there for a moment and you feel it straight up inside you. Closing your eyes like the moments where just yesterday. To me, those moments feel so amazing.

I get touched anonymously by peace and calm, like quiet evenings with the sun setting, standing under a chilly evening. I get to really feel myself and get lost in my mind so deeply that I barely notice how long I’ve just been standing there. Look, being inside your mind in such a way that you forget what’s next to you, what’s actually going on around you, and letting yourself get touched by the universe so effortlessly. You have to try that. Letting go of any thoughts and sounds and just being there, in the moment with yourself. It can be with anything and just anywhere, just find something and somewhere that you love being that makes you feel free when you are existing. Experiencing that moment of being taken away is an amazing yet rare feeling.

Let me touch you.

Words by Jane Lyimo

Everything around you is teaching you something

Why don’t we take a moment to notice the things we come across on a daily basis? Things like an old man crossing the street all alone, or just three ladies looking straight into their phones in the middle of the streets. We have lessons right in-front of us.

We have opportunities to elevate. I think the question here is, do we all want to elevate? Do we want to trigger our minds with stupid challenges that can literally improve our entire mindsets? It’s the little things that mend us. It’s never a struggle to just take up the challenges.

We have worries that have the answers within each other. We have so much to say but we don’t find it easy to open up to one another. We should learn to observe. Watch the moves. Face. Hands. The fucking tone of one’s voice. We have our answers right in-front of us.

That fucking vibe you’re catching. That fucking thought crossing your mind when having a clear conversation. Pay attention to that. That’s the answer. Well, if it’s not, you can clearly find it. But the point is, you were pay attention, and weighing things in your favor. Because if you are not doing shit to improve yourself, who are you waiting for to do the job for you? Take actions to elevate or let yourself demote.

If I ain’t teaching you something. I hope something else will.

Words by Jane Lyimo

How do I find myself?

Just some few months back my life had changed. Changed in a way that things that Istood up for didn’t have any meaning. Someone that I counted on was not around anymore. More like, they were a stranger to me. Anything that was in order became disrupted by silly interferences that I never came to understand, well until now.

I went through a tough time but time also passed like it was nothing. Words spoken were like light being forced inside me. Inside a dark spot that felt confused but yet, I felt freedom. Freedom in a sense that nothing could change who I was. Nothing could make me feel less of myself after all that I went through. I still felt a sense of self. Only thing that kept me going was fate. I discovered whatever person came into your life, as far back as you can remember, was fated to be there. I say this because my world was shaking. Everything around me felt wrong. I had this inner sadness. Inner feeling that made me ask myself what I was doing to my life allowing such shitty things to happen to me. But fate came through. Well, it always comes through. But I just then started noticing it.

Have you ever felt like your mind is filled with so much garbage? Like, I had a feeling that Ineeded to empty my fucking mind. I needed to allow myself to stop holding on to whatever was bothering me. I could be so sad for so many days. But still laugh so hard at jokes. I could have a full ass conversation but all Iwanted was to be silent and never stop analyzing what just happened. I could sit down and tears would flow down my face. I would start questioning other people’s intentions in my life. I disconnected from anything and anyone. Except a few beautiful souls and my family of course. I spent most times at the beach were the waves felt so good. More like they were washing away all my thoughts. Smoked a couple of joints. Got really high, and drunk, and after I would cry myself to sleep. Well, there’s that. And thenthere’s mental disruption, mood swings, and a big sense of loneliness. But only to discover that the only thing I needed was myself. The only thing that I needed to find was myself. And not the opposite of what I was experiencing. I thought that at the time and was telling myself that I needed to have closure. Not with anyone of course, butclosure with myself. I tried and tried but I still never found any point of my thoughts that got intact to any agreements. But when I let all that shit go and stood up for myself. When Istarted not to give a single damn about how Ifelt and started focusing on myself, everything was renewed. I had a beginning and it felt like a gift. That my past was in a fucking garbage truck being taken to whatever place it belongs. All I’m left with is my sanity.

Credits:

Article by: Jane Lyimo (@raremuse_)